This is a sensitive topic for everyone, even to myself, but more so to others than me.
Followers
To those who are followers, the ones that acts like someone else and lose their own personality, what makes you do that? Is it because you haven’t discovered yourself and is still on a journey to find yourself? Or does it mean you have low self-confidence and need a role model to follow?
I myself was a follower in high school. My very awesome friend named Kimberly T. has such a strong personality and displayed her talents without being proud, but humble. A lot of people just love to be around her and others will try to become more like her by copying what she did. I was a little bit like that since she is someone I admire. She was the one that made me like the color orange so much because of her strong personality. She convinced me that orange is not a ugly color and thus orange is one of my favorite colors now. She was very talented with art things, with music, crafting and drawing/coloring. She made me jealous of her skills, but that’s not the way it’s suppose to be.
Even if I tried to be more like her, the more I would fail because essentially,I am not being true to my own interests. Here’s an example, I wanted to become better at drawing like my friend, but really, I don’t have the talent for that, and the more I try to reach the goal, the more I trip and fall and hurt myself in ways that shouldn’t have happened in the first place.
As a follower for so many years, I was lost, confused and not happy. Somehow in those years, I never realized this was the reason to why I was constantly not happy. It’s good to know that I finally figured out the reason to all those sad & quiet days.
HOWEVER, as a follower, it doesn’t mean you had the same experience as me! And being a follower isn’t a bad thing, it is also another way you discover yourself through other people. (thanks, pinkperformance :]) I had a post about how I picked up different habits, though rather small, from my friends that I hang out with. Most of the times, we are described by the people we spend time with and hang out together a lot with. If you are a follower, be one that is true to yourself, let things happen naturally instead of forcing yourself to change. It’s nice to be on a journey to find yourself through friends! Don’t get me wrong, but I might have had a negative way of saying my own experience.
The Followed
To those who are followed by others, what makes us models for other people? How does it feel to followed and looked up to?
In my own opinion as one that is being followed now, the followed ones have a strong sense of their own likes and dislikes and display their talents humbly. They also display their personality with confidence and ignorance. You might ask, why ignorance? From my experience, you have to be ignorant of how other people will view you. Sure we all have our own faults, but if we put the faults out of the picture, people should not be afraid to express themselves to others. Everyone is different in their own ways, which makes every one of us unique. I used to not understand that and would be envious and compared myself to other people, but that is not how it should be.
BUT, even though as one that is being followed, we are all still followers of some sort, in small ways. As I am still changing a bit of my personalities because of others, to make myself a better person in general.
My Experience
I had a friend that is following me, and she is the reason why I started writing about this topic. If someone noticed I had a negative response to followers, it’s because I don’t like being followed. Sure, we all pick up different bits of personality for others, but when it comes to someone trying to be like me, I really dislike it. It makes me sad to see one being so out of place in my eyes. And my past experience as a follower, I wonder why I was so stupid to make that choice of being someone who is so lost all the time. It makes me really sad to see my friend, trying to act like me completely, which makes her seem out of place to me. It annoys me to know she is not being herself. How should I have more patience for my friend?
For example, I have a habit of pulling on guys’ sleeves or hoods to get their attention (in a good way!) or to get some comfort because somehow that makes me feel comfy and safe. After a while, my friend started seeing my habit and copied me exactly the same way. She did not get the same response I did from the guys because the guys would either move away or tell her to stop that. And when I see her doing that, I KNOW she is copying me. And that might have made her feel even more out of place because she is not being true to her own personality and actions.
Whatever you do, don’t follow me that drastically. Everyone is unique in their own ways, but you have to discover it slowly through others and not just simply copying what you see your friends doing. I am one of the more independent people and that’s why it hurts for me to see someone trying to be me because I feel I don’t deserve to be followed because I have my own flaws and weaknesses. Not that I don’t like myself, but why follow me when you can be yourself right?
Followers, be strong, don’t be like me who had such a bad experience, take your time to find your unique self. It’s like a puzzle, you have to pick up pieces you like that fits you and place them together to form yourself.
Ending with a picture I took for one of my photography projects this semester:
My love for all instruments never cease…
maybe the reason why we follow other people is that we see something in them that we feel we lack for ourselves. or because they stand as people whom we can identify with, or whom reflects our ideal self.
hmm, I like your views on this! I’ll have to add that to my post when I come back to it :]
thank you! another point is that being a follower is not exactly a bad thing. ^_^